If you drive fast enough through a toll, you’re invisible. It’s like you drove right through a time warp. Did you know that?
– Judge B, giving a slightly-off-topic speeding lecture.You know, I’m really starting to hate PTD. I suspect there is a person sitting in a back room at the state attorney’s office with an eight-sided die going, “Two. That means we won’t take anyone over 5’8”….
– Judge B, expressing his displeasure with the rigidity of the pretrial diversion program.Well, you’re not exactly up for the passive fellow of the century with all those aggravated battery and assault charges in the past 10 years…
– Judge B, to a defendant.How does one get a 24 inch machete in their pants? Very carefully I guess. I guess you weren’t doing a lot of squat thrusts, huh?
– Judge B, in the middle of a plea to the charge of carrying a concealed weapon.Top ten reasons why men prefer guns over women.” Well, that’s interesting. Most of them are probably inappropriate. So I won’t read them here… don’t need to make any fodder for the evening news.
– Judge B, reading his e-mail in court.You haven’t lost a trial in this division, have you? Well I’ve just jinxed you.
– Judge B, right before my last trial. (not guilty!)