Ok computer, you win. I’ll archive my old files.
I have no idea where they go though…
– Judge B, responding to a pop-up on his computerNope, nevermind. I was trying to think if you were [at a certain high school] when my daughter was there… but she’s 34 and you’re 26 so no. She’s a little slow, but not that slow.
– Judge B, after hearing a client went to the same high school as his daughter.I’m fairly certain that everyone in this room considers themselves a functioning member of society, Sir… well except for those two guys earlier…
– Judge B.Studio B
Guy walks into Courtroom B during court.
Guy: Do you know which courtroom is Judge Judy’s?
Me: …
Me: Is that a serious question?
Guy: Huh?
Me: Judge Judy.
Guy: Yeah, the tv judge.
Me: Ok…..
Guy: So this isn’t it?
Me: No.
Today’s gonna be a good day. The automatic flush toilets are acknowledging my presence today.
– Judge B.Theme Revisited
“The train that brought everyone here today certainly was NOT full of rocket scientists.”
-Judge B.
Criminal Procedure 101
“The officers can put whatever they want on the police report. They could charge you with being from another planet if they wanted to, but once the state attorneys office gets the case they decide what they can legally charge you with. So that’s where that other charge came from.”
Didn’t you want to backhand that other young lady who was waffling on the issue? Well you missed your chance when she walked by you.
– Judge B, to a women excited to get into the pretrial diversion program.